Healthy Sexual Relationships
What is a healthy sexual relationship?
Does it mean that as long as I am using protection I will remain healthy? No. Is a healthy sexual relationship only possible with a spouse? No. Do both partners have to achieve climax every time to have a fit arrangement? No. All things do not necessarily come together overnight. It takes time and cooperation as well as sincere effort to discover what works for each partner. Many factors contribute to a healthy connection. Let’s explore a few.
Do you trust your sexual partner? Can he trust you? Are you both able to engage in truthful dialog about sexual matters? Have you been honest about your sexual risk factors? When having sex, do you trust one another to stay within the boundaries you feel comfortable with? If you can answer yes to these questions at the very least the foundation for trust is there.
Unless you are into S&L, the relationship with your partner should not be demeaning for either one of you. A healthy sex life is difficult to achieve if you feel a lack of respect from your partner. Open, loving communication can reveal sexual needs and desires. The importance of being treated well before, during and after sex cannot be underestimated. Have you discussed what you enjoy and what you don’t and your partner acknowledges these as he makes love? When you discuss preferences and problems, shame or ridicule should never come into play. Do you do the same for him? Without being respected, how can you truly trust?
It’s Okay to Say No
Healthy sexual partnerships should be able to take a “no” answer from time to time. Both of you need to feel confident enough in the relationship to be able to pass on having sex without the other being offended or grouchy. Of course, when the time just isn’t right for you, you need to be tactful. If he just doesn’t want to engage in sexual activities once in a while it doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. If saying no becomes a frequent habit for one or both of you, then it’s time to talk about what is really going on.
We all have our favorite positions and foreplay techniques. Your partner does also. A rich, fulfilling sex life incorporates pleasing each other, even if it means doing something you prefer not to do. That is not to say that you force yourself to do something you find really offensive. But in healthy sexual relationships, pleasing your significant other should be #1 priority. Satisfying him and he returns the favor makes two happy campers.
From time to time, one or both of you may not reach orgasm. This is normal. If you find that orgasm just doesn’t happen on a frequent basis, it’s time to have a conversation in order to discover how fulfillment can be achieved. In a healthy sexual relationship you can do that.
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